Cheesier than Cheddar and pineapple chunks on cocktail sticks, the new gaff from the guys at Coin Laundry celebrates the shag-pile days of the mid-1970s. Rum-laced rinses such as Alison Mahony (a spicy Havana 3-year-old lime and ginger tease) are the forte. Sip them either in the lurid lounge and basement living room, or the full-scale kitchenette. On a Tequila tip, we’re torn between tropical fruity Michelle Ma Belle and Caribbean carnival crush, Sexy Ting. Alternatively, club together for gin and pisco puncheons to share or sink shooters and hoochy slushies from a tacky bar straight out of a Willesden working men’s club. For 70s-style sustenance, snack on prawn cocktails, deep-fried garlic mushrooms or chicken nuggets. Otherwise, embark upon a speciality pizza (topped with lamb doner and garlic sauce, say) followed by the likes of rum baba or banana pie. Barry White and The Bee Gees provide the appropriate backing.