Paddington Bear goes to the disco
It isn't often that, on arriving at a restaurant, you are offered a choice of seating that is either by the noisy table or by the baby. I generally find a baby at a table guarantees noise, noise that the graceless parents ignore as it is their one night out. Well spare me, but you should have thought of that before you chose to breed.
Anyway, given the other restaurant truth that tables of eight or more make more noise than a dozen tables of four, the baby it was who had the joy of our company at a pre-Christmas bash. I'd tried to get a table a few weeks before and had one of this bizarre exchanges that make London life so much fun. The conversation went something like:
Me: could I get a table for two at 8.00 next Wednesday please?
Restaurant: no, we don't have any tables available at that time.
Me: ok, how about 9.00?
Restaurant: no, we don't have any tables available at that time.
Me: oh; so when do you have a table available that evening?
Restaurant: we're fully booked.
Me: click (not me saying that, just the sound of me hanging up).
So we did get in, and it was a Thursday night, and there was a DJ. And a baby. And lots of groups of junior execs taking their PAs out for a pre-Christmas piss-up, getting them pissed with the piscos.
So the atmosphere wasn't quite what I was after, but everything else was actually pretty good: the greeter did suggest baby over noise, and she was right, although she couldn't (or at least wouldn't) get the thumping bass turned down to just an annoying thump rather than the full on Hacienda levels (yes, yes; I know I'm showing my age with both the request and the reference, but tough). The food is actually pretty good, although portion size is minuscule: the suggested five sharing plates for the four of us may have been fine for the Victoria's Secrets models strutting their stuff in Bond Street that eve, but four strapping oldies, the male members of the group of which have very impressive girths, scoff at such ideas, meaning that a full ten dishes passed our way, none of which was anything other than very good.
And the food is good; crispy lamb belly; scallops (two portions); yellowtail; purple spuds (no disrespect to the octopus, which I'm sure was excellent too, but one of our party had been poisoned on a French exchange whilst young and is still traumatised by the poor cephalods) - it was all top notch. Spicy, tasty and tiny portions.
I'd certainly go back, but when the DJ has gone back to Ibiza and the PAs have been packed off back to Essex.